Feelings and needs
Feelings and Needs: one of my favourite areas of emotional intelligence.
We all have needs, and as leaders, understanding these - whether for ourselves, our teams, or our business - can make the critical difference between:
needs being met or left unmet, impacting wellbeing and performance
personal fulfilment or demotivation, shaping morale and satisfaction
business success (profit, productivity, retention and achievement of strategic goals) or stagnation, risking growth and innovation.
My greatest mentor in this fascinating area was Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication (NVC).
NVC is a process Marshall developed to help resolve conflict, which he taught and applied globally: in post-Apartheid South Africa, Rwanda in the aftermath of the 1994 genocide, to Israel and Palestine, Columbia, India, Europe and the United States. He continued his work until his death at the age of 80 in 2015.
Like most emotional inquiry processes it has wide-reaching impact and I find it especially useful for a number of reasons, both personally and when working with clients.
It offers people:
💠words to describe their feelings in diverse and accurate ways (surprisingly hard to do for many)
💠a way to describe their needs and an approach for asking for them to be met (also, surprisingly hard to do for many).
NVC in thee workplace can also assist Managers and Leaders to talk with people in their teams about their feelings and needs, with numerous knock-on benefits, such as:
Enhanced team collaboration
Reduced conflict
Improved trust, relational working and understanding.
How do I use NVC in my work with leaders?
As someone who deeply values listening, I incorporate this approach into my coaching, training, and organisational development work by tuning into the emotions that surface. Then, working back from the feelings, I focus on identifying which needs are present, and being met or unmet, and from there, I help clients explore pathways to fulfil those needs.
Simply reflecting back what you hear and breathing life into the language of a person's feelings and needs is extremely powerful.
Together, we craft a clear way forward, envisioning what it might look like to address and meet those needs effectively. This process fosters deeper understanding and connection, empowering people to create meaningful solutions.
And you can do this too.
➡️Do you wish your people managers had the skill and ability to talk to their teams about feelings and needs?
➡️Do you want to explore how NVC can help reduce conflict and improve trust and understanding in your teams?
➡️Are you interested in exploring your feelings and needs, whether in or out of work?
Get in touch with me by email to find out how I can support you and your organisation on this important journey.
And if you want to learn more about Marshall's remarkable work, check him out in writing, on podcasts, YouTube and at the Centre for Non-Violent Communication.
#NonviolentCommunication #NVC #EmotionalIntelligence #EQ #EmotionalAwareness