Conflict resolution at work

18 Sept

Line managers can be great at resolving conflict in teams, but 49% of employers admit managers are also the cause.

I was sad to see these high stats in the CIPD e-newsletter this week.

Unsurprised, perhaps, but still sad, because it can be so different. I believe that we owe it to ourselves as leaders and our teams to do better.

Conflict resolution is a key skill for people managers and leaders.

From the perspective of professional development, wellbeing, performance, team development, change management and culture, it's an imperative that managers are supported to develop the ability to handle conflict with confidence.

When conflict is unresolved or poorly handled it can:

Create stress that hinders teams from performing at their best.
Negatively impact wellbeing.
Lower employee engagement.
Erode trust, essential for a healthy work culture and wellbeing.

Here’s some quick tips for improving conflict resolution in your teams:

Focus on the issue, not the individuals: put the issue in front, rather than between you. The tone you set will steer the conversation.

Aim for collaboration and shared understanding. You want to understand the other person’s perspective and you want to create space for them to understand your’s.
Identify both subjective and objective conflict signs. Remember: "What I say is my responsibility; how you receive it is yours." If, objectively, you’ve done everything you can to line up communication effectively, then chances are, how the other person is receiving it may be the cause of the conflict. Be curious about how they received what you said and, conversely, be curious about what they were trying to say or do: you too may have interpreted something that was unintended.
Slow down: respond thoughtfully, don’t react impulsively. Slowing your thinking can help you to be more emotionally regulated, give the benefit of the doubt, and is more success-prone.
Listen to understand without interrupting (even if you have something helpful to say), then share your perspective with a focus on honesty, collaboration, repair and reconnection.
Clearly express what could have worked better for you and ask for feedback from their perspective too.
Be open to apologising without taking all the blame.
Know your triggers—self-awareness leads to better choices in future.
Consider what feelings arose for you, and be curious about what unmet needs may be underlying that you can communicate as a request, not a demand.
We constructively challenge where appropriate.
We clarify points to build shared understanding and learning.
We summarise to check for understanding.
We offer containing statements, e.g.

That sounds very tiring/challenging/difficult....
I can hear you are feeling frustrated (using the person’s words where possible)
I can see that was very difficult for you.

Be empathic and sincere.
Do not be afraid of silences.

Get in touch to find out about my conflict management masterclasses and discuss how I can support you and your team in improving your conflict resolution and leadership skills.